How to find inner harmony with yourself. How to be at peace with yourself

Elena Bikulova

Likes to write texts that inspire. She tries to open the eyes of herself and the people around her to this world.

Dependence on a partner

This is perhaps one of the main reasons that prevents us from finding inner harmony and feeling truly happy. When people meet, their inner worlds collide. Each of them is beautiful in its own way and has its own unique features. Before this meeting, each of us had traveled a certain path, made mistakes and gained valuable experience. And at some point, these worlds begin to come closer and closer together: we share each other’s feelings and emotions, share our experiences or plans for the future with our partner, and begin to gradually introduce a person into our environment.

It would seem, what's bad here? We all dream of healthy and harmonious relationships in which we want to share each other's interests. Only sometimes it gets out of our control under the pressure of surging romantic feelings, we dissolve in the person, forgetting about ourselves.

I would call it a kind of mimicry. We enthusiastically watch our partner’s life, his hobbies become our hobbies. We share personal victories with each other and celebrate joint ones, and so on.

Everything would be fine, but for a second imagine that this person is no longer in your life. What will be left of you after he leaves? Will your life still be interesting and vibrant? Will you be in a constant process of creating something? Or will you wait for a new collision?

Comfort zone: create or destroy

Recently, it has been the most discussed topic among psychologists and bloggers. The glossy magazine is teeming with articles about ways to get out of this notorious zone in order to improve your standard of living and self-confidence.

Undoubtedly, leaving your comfort zone is very important and useful, but you cannot do it thoughtlessly. First you need to understand where your comfort zone begins and ends. There is a very fine line between what is simply unusual for you and what can become a real challenge for you. It is difficult to leave the comfort zone even for the most relaxed and sociable people, not to mention people suffering from various kinds of phobias.

You cannot break someone who breaks himself day after day.

J. Nesbø, Norwegian writer and musician

Indeed, it is difficult to break the self-confidence and strength of a person who is constantly creating himself through constant growth and leaving the usual environment. The reason for discomfort when taking the first steps in a new business is sometimes not that it is difficult for a person to adapt to an unusual way of life, but that he does not need it.

It is vital to break yourself in order to stay in the flow, but you must be aware of why you are doing this, and sensibly assess all possible losses. Otherwise, constantly breaking yourself, you will turn into an empty vessel, lose what was given to you by nature itself, and your life guidelines will go astray.

Tearing off the masks

How often do we hide our essence from prying eyes and ourselves. We try to be like someone, we look back at other people’s successes, in some ways we envy people passing by, sometimes we even get angry and offended. Without a doubt, there are many role models who have achieved unprecedented success and live a different life: bright, devoid of routine and waking up early every day for a job that is not fun.

But why get angry and give up when we have the power to change the course of events? Our life was not given to us in order to remain in the image of a victim and complain about the injustice of fate. It is necessary to act and preferably without delay.

Don't like your hairstyle or wardrobe? Change and reinvent yourself. You should admire your own reflection in the mirror, and not turn around at every random person you meet with the thoughts: “She is so beautiful and well-groomed, why is everything different for me...”

There is no need to suppress feelings and the realization that you do not like to be the way circumstances force you to be. Take off the mask of normality and routine and stop worrying about what other people think of you. Think about it: many of them are worthy of respect and admiration precisely because they once stopped caring about the opinions of others.

Maybe it is at that moment when you unleash your inner beast that you will realize what you want to devote your life to. And as you know, one of the main components of happiness is doing something that brings us pleasure.

Endless cycle of desires

We always want to get something or achieve something, and this is wonderful, otherwise it would be impossible to talk about any development and internal growth. What's the catch?

Everyone has their own dream: a new pair of shoes or a dress, the most sophisticated SUV or supercar, an apartment or villa on the coast, and someone has a dream - to escape from a small town and conquer the peaks of the world. But after the fulfillment of these desires, new ones come, and this can last indefinitely. The feeling of happiness quickly turns into faded joy, which is replaced by satisfaction with the state of affairs.

But, as we know from our student years, satisfactory is only a C, and who among us wants to live life with a C? We come up with a new dream for ourselves, again worry about its fulfillment, get angry if something doesn’t go according to plan, until it finally comes true. Then everything is new - an endless cycle of desires.

Does this bring us happiness? Hardly. After all, we cannot contain the happiness we experience from the fulfillment of our small, but no less cherished dream.

We have forgotten how to live in the present moment - the moment of fulfillment of our cherished desire.

As long as we are in this crazy race, we will not be able to feel happy when our dreams come true.

Learn to be happy alone with yourself and enjoy every moment of life. Understand that not a single person in this world can give you a sense of harmony if a hurricane of passions, consisting of dissatisfaction with your position, self-doubt and fears, is raging inside you.

3 rules that will help you feel life in all its manifestations

1. Expand your horizons. Find, meet interesting people, start playing sports, travel, do something new and unusual for you.
2. Listen to your inner voice. You need to realize what you like, not your environment. Maintain your uniqueness and continue to be an interesting conversationalist.
3. Forget about what happened before and don’t think ahead. The past has given you invaluable experience, and your future depends on what you do here and now. Concentrate all your energy on what you are doing at the moment. You will see how much easier and faster you will move towards your goals.

Don't be afraid of the unknown and innovation. In any case, you will win, because you will have experience behind you that will help you move forward.

When, from all the life circumstances that have fallen on your shoulders, you realize that something has gone wrong in your life. Then the moment comes when you must withdraw into yourself and understand what you need. In such cases, the majority believe that changing jobs, moving to another city or country, or changing a partner will help them.

But wherever you move, you always take yourself. After all, in order to decide what is missing in your life, you don’t need to go anywhere. There is no need to run away from life's problems. It is enough to understand yourself, that is, to find harmony with yourself and accept yourself.

Sounds too easy to be true, you might think. But, nevertheless, listen to the advice that will be given below. After all, by using them, you will not lose anything. Moreover, you will find harmony in yourself, which means that any troubles in life will not be scary for you. And welcome to the world of harmony.

Where to start on the path to harmony?

Agree, in the crowd of people walking past, you notice radiant and eye-catching people. And it’s not at all about their appearance or the way they dress, they have some kind of completely invisible inner radiance. Their eyes are full of calm, happiness, harmony. Others are always drawn to such people. What is their secret? It is precisely that these people have found harmony with themselves.

The moment you realized that you need to change something, you took the first step towards a harmonious life with yourself. Next, you will need to improve yourself and do long and hard work on yourself. But this work in your life will become a real treasure.

So, first of all you need to understand who you are and what you want from this life. And the answer: “I’m Marina, I’m 25, I want to be a successful designer,” is not suitable. After all, this is a very important question, if your goal is to find harmony, there is no place for material things. After all, harmony belongs to the spiritual category. And if you think that it will come after acquiring a material thing, then this is the main misconception. Just the opposite is true. Only after you have discovered harmony within yourself will you have everything and even more.

The second step is be aware. At the very beginning, this may be difficult for you, because the constant stream of unnecessary thoughts in your head will constantly lead you in a different direction. But this shouldn't scare you. For example, every time you make dinner, be focused only on the cooking process itself, and at the moment when an extraneous thought takes you somewhere, return again to the conscious process of cooking. And so every time, no matter what you do, always be absorbed only in the process itself, and do not allow extraneous thoughts. And every day, you will see how there are fewer and fewer unnecessary thoughts in your head, and you spend more and more time consciously.

This also applies to emotions. You don't need any negativity. Always, always, when entering into any contact with people, try to be constructive and calm, especially if you have some kind of conflict. After all, anger, dissatisfaction and irritation have never helped anyone effectively resolve any problems. Therefore, always monitor the occurrence of negative emotions and try to neutralize them. Remember that in a harmonious person, all emotions come from the heart. And in the heart there is only room for love.

This leads to the next piece of advice. Always be in love with someone or something. After all, love in a person reveals their true essence. It makes a person more noble. After all, this is a very strong feeling and if you are in love, you cannot help but notice positive changes in yourself. First of all, you will have self-respect. Having it, you will know exactly what you want. You will never deliberately offend another, you will not deceive, you will not do bad things, you will not be able to live in dirt and untidiness, because you respect yourself. Develop love in yourself, because this is a huge gift that will help you be more harmonious with yourself and with the world around you.

The next tip will also be about your gift. More specifically, about your talent. And if you think that you have no abilities, then you are deeply mistaken. Every person is endowed with them, and you must discover them in yourself. But if you sit in your usual comfortable world, you may never know what you are capable of. After all, to discover your talent, you need to go where you have never been, try something you have never done, eat something you have never eaten before. In short, in order to invigorate your soul, pamper it with new impressions and monitor your well-being. When the soul finds its way, you will understand. And by the way, people who are passionate about something are always attractive and attractive to others. After all, you have your own “raisin”. And, most importantly, in moments of your passion, you find that harmony with yourself, that peace that is so lacking in the noisy city rhythm.

The fifth tip is that you need to become a master of sports in playing with your mind. This means that you need to imagine that you have already found harmony with yourself. You already need to be harmonious. Analyze how harmonious individuals behave, how they speak, how they relate to failures and victories. Don’t wait for the day when you wake up in the morning and realize that you have become harmonious, be like that right now.

And remember that all great things start small. A long journey begins with the first step. Even the greatest professionals start small; they didn’t get something overnight. So please be patient. Be lenient with yourself, if you don’t succeed at something right away, everything will come gradually. And in order to develop a certain skill, you need to do more than one number of repetitions. Be grateful for what you have and live according to your heart and soul, learn, develop, apply these tips, look for your own, experiment and you will find true harmony with yourself and with the world around you.

Each person is a unique combination of many qualities, characteristics, characteristics, real and potential opportunities. And in order to accept and realize your own uniqueness, you must first see yourself in three dimensions - with all your experiences, doubts, self-doubt and fear of life, with what is obvious to you and with what is still hidden.

What is it for? Only by realizing yourself as a whole can you truly take care of your body and health, implement many plans and solve your tasks, feel like a more energetic person, start live in harmony with yourself and those around you.

The whole is not just the sum of its parts. The whole is an independent organism functioning according to its own internal laws. And if you want become a whole person, which itself controls its habits, reactions, actions and its own life - it makes sense to start with an understanding of its unity.

However, unity consists of parts, and first we will talk about each of them. A person has 3 main areas:

• sphere of consciousness;
• sensory-emotional sphere;
• bodily sphere.

Sphere of Consciousness

The sphere of consciousness is the totality of all thoughts, ideas, rules, attitudes, beliefs learned throughout life, the picture of the world as a whole. Consciousness registers everything that a person has ever seen, perceived, understood. And even if the information received and processed is never needed, it is not forgotten, remaining in the distant corners of human memory.

The resources of consciousness are truly limitless. Consciousness, of course, has filters for entering and processing information, but they cannot cope with all the information that comes from the outside. And no matter how a person protects himself from external stimuli, he still remembers much more information than he realizes.

Another question is that it is impossible to use all the information received with benefit - boundaries in the mind interfere: the usual way of action, rules learned in deep childhood, attitudes and beliefs about oneself and about the world, fears and doubts that are present in abundance in the life of every person.

The basis of these filters, which prevent new and useful information from entering your consciousness, is literally “forcing” you to go in circles in your own choices, decisions and actions and not allowing become whole and a person open to novelty.

You've probably repeatedly had the desire to change your life for the better - move to a new job, lose weight, or try to build close and trusting relationships. But for some reason it did not take root for a long time and did not bear any real fruit. Why?

For the “simple” reason that the filters created in the mind do not approve of this decision. Indeed, to implement it, you will have to change a lot of what makes up the fabric of your life today: reconsider your habits, overcome doubts, uncertainty and fears, do something that you have never done before. And if you suddenly decide to implement all this, bypassing your filters, they will sound the alarm with such force that not even a week will pass before you abandon your idea.

What can you do to change your habitual train of thought and learn live in harmony with yourself?

First of all, set yourself up to study the contents of your own consciousness. To understand what you learned during your upbringing. What you believe in and what you expect from the world. What are you afraid of, where are your expectations pessimistic?

As a practice, I suggest starting with settings relating to one area of ​​your life, for example, personal relationships, health, profession, finances, etc. At the end of the article, you will be offered exercises aimed at realizing everything that prevents you from understanding yourself and becoming whole.

Why is the study of consciousness important? For the reason that all the metamorphoses occurring in it directly affect life as a whole. The speed and quality of changes depends on how well you have studied the attitudes and beliefs that have become habitual.

Sensory-emotional sphere

To “make friends” with the body, it is important to understand and accept a few simple truths:

• your body is one of a kind, you won’t have another, the sooner you realize this, the greater the chances for positive changes in appearance and well-being;
• the body is not a way to attract anyone’s attention, it is yours, not someone else’s, and therefore all responsibility for how it will function and how long it will “last” lies solely with you;
• you need the body in order to live your single life as fully as possible, using all its resources and capabilities of consciousness and sensory potential;
• a healthy body is a sign that a person has a reason to live: he is full of plans and hopes, even if he doesn’t think so to himself.

The most important thing you need to take care of your body is determination, consistency and gradualness in mastering this art.

"Open system" means "imperfect from the start"

It is important first of all to learn to see and use everything you have as a problem that requires a solution. Then you will be able to realize all parts of yourself in the best possible way, even if you were previously accustomed to seeing only the negatives in yourself.

The life experience that you have gained, the experiences that you have accumulated, the picture of the world that you have perceived and the body given to you - all this, with desire and focused work, can be turned into a colossal resource. But first of all, you need to see these parts in yourself and give each of them the opportunity to manifest themselves.

2. All parts of the whole are equal in value

• Reflect on how aware you are of each area and how much you care about yourself as a whole. For a better understanding, assign points - from 1 to 10, where one means “everything is bad, I don’t pay attention, I don’t care”, ten means it’s nowhere better, I work on this area every day.
• Next, think and sign why you do/don’t devote time and attention to this or that area; What is holding you back or, on the contrary, pushing you forward?
• In each area, outline an action plan for improvement over the next 3 weeks (21 days);
• Write down the first step in each area you need to work on;
• Do the same with each subsequent step (steps 2, 3, 4, etc.);

Over time, you will develop a strategy for holistic self-care.

Example:

consciousness— learn new things, develop in a direction that interests you; study your attitudes and beliefs, question the picture of the world that has been formed over the years;

emotions- nourish the sensory-emotional sphere (art in various manifestations), pay attention to the reasons that cause you certain emotional experiences, learn to establish high-quality emotional connections, contacts with the outside world;

body— take care of your health and appearance: devote time to physical activity, adjust your diet schedule, visit a doctor, carry out body contouring procedures, etc.

Awareness of oneself as a whole and caring for oneself as a whole is a sign of health and psychological maturity. As you begin to work on yourself to gain integrity, your whole life will gradually begin to change: your attitude towards yourself, towards the space around you, towards people and events.

You will learn to perceive your own life not as a set of dry facts, but as a story connected into a single line, by correcting the events of which, you will be able to consciously change direction, which will help you live in harmony with yourself and with the world around you.

To build effective relationships with others, you need to work, first of all, on yourself. It happens that a person’s internal complexes have an extremely negative impact on the communication process.

Therefore, you need to fight low self-esteem, the habit of overthinking yourself and worrying about trifles. It is important to be able to control your behavior and think about how you look from the outside. If a person is suspicious, suspicious, it will be difficult for him to communicate with others. The same goes for qualities such as cynicism and arrogance. They only interfere with the communication process.

To live in harmony with other people, let go of your preconceptions about how they should behave. Sometimes the cause of quarrels, breakups with loved ones and conflicts are excessive expectations. Realize that the other person does not owe you anything and can behave in accordance with their own point of view.

If you want your interactions with others to be productive and enjoyable, be less critical of others and avoid gossiping. Be a friendly, positive person, and then others will be drawn to you.

In harmony with yourself

Different people lack different things in life to be happy. However, there are general principles by following which you can achieve harmony with yourself. And this state is an indispensable condition for happiness.

First of all, you should listen to your inner feelings more often. This is the only way you will understand which things have the highest value for you. By setting your priorities correctly, you will determine which direction you should move in to improve your own life.

Having specific goals can make your path to peace of mind easier. When developing a list of tasks that you need to achieve, make sure that they correspond to your abilities and capabilities.

Interestingly, the level of happiness depends to a large extent not on how close you are to your goal, but on the factor how much you work hard to achieve life’s goals. That is, when you do almost everything in your power to improve your life, you begin to feel satisfied with yourself, and this is one of the conditions for happiness.

Therefore, it is important not just to make a plan for self-development, but to act. Do something every day to improve yourself and your life. Don’t put off implementing your plans and don’t be lazy. Then harmony with yourself awaits you.

What are you girls, what harmony with yourself? With the modern way of life, when every minute counts and every calorie is counted, there is no time for harmony with yourself. I wish I could do everything on time, but don’t sit in front of the refrigerator after six in the evening! This is how most of our society lives, even sadly. It is clear that it is not possible to abandon generally accepted standards altogether. Man is a social being; he cannot be outside of society. But I ask you, dear women, strive to live in harmony with yourself. Life is so short, so let's live it happily, receiving from it not only worries, but, first of all, pleasure.

To turn the river of your life into a channel that is harmonious for you, you need to try to adhere to some rules. These rules are both simple and complex at the same time. But without following them, it is very difficult to understand how to live in harmony with yourself .

Harmony with yourself

Live in the moment. When you wake up in the morning, remind yourself that today is the most important day at this stage of your life. Yesterday is gone, you can’t change it, what will happen tomorrow is unknown. And today is real life. Be real, don't have high expectations for tomorrow. Tell yourself: “I live a good life, I have a good family, friends, job,” and not: “I will soon live a good life.”

How to live happily

Live happily. In order to live happily, it is enough for you to realize that only you yourself are capable of making yourself happy, right now, if you firmly decide to be happy. No one around you will give you this state if you resist and convince yourself that you lack something to be completely happy. A happy life is something that a person has from birth; it does not need to be “earned”. Happiness is inner harmony, a state in which a person is satisfied with both himself and the life that surrounds him. It is harmonious people who become successful, and not those who constantly strive to achieve something. But when they get the result, they don’t feel truly happy. And remember that bad thoughts can materialize. Get rid of all the negativity, learn, don’t think bad about life, and life won’t be bad.

How to love yourself

Love yourself. How often do we hear this expression? What does it mean? Accept yourself as you are: with all your strengths and all your shortcomings. Your self-esteem should not be affected by the fact that not all people like you or that you are not knowledgeable in all areas of life. Be calm about the fact that sometimes you make mistakes. There are no ideal people. Evaluate yourself adequately. You are who you are. Respect your opinion, listen to your desires, pamper yourself and those around you will also begin to love and respect you.

How to live harmoniously

Listen to your body. If your body lacks something, pamper it too.

About sleep. If you have to get up early in the morning and you feel like you are not getting enough sleep, then go to bed earlier. Lack of sleep has a very detrimental effect on both well-being and mood.

About diets. If you watch your weight and constantly limit yourself to eating certain foods, but you really want to eat forbidden foods. Make concessions sometimes, unless, of course, the desired product is contraindicated for medical reasons. Sometimes a plate of fried potatoes makes a woman happier.

About sex. A lot has already been said about the benefits of this activity. I will only dwell on the fact that women who regularly have sex can boast of a state of vitality and good mood. So let’s not forget about this gift of nature.

How to live in harmony with yourself every day? It is possible and absolutely necessary. After all, this is your life, it is you who live it, and do not look at it from the outside. Harmony within you and happiness are one whole, you will see!