How to start a new life. When something went wrong

30 332 3 Hello! In this article we will tell you how to get started new life. Today you will learn:

What reasons force people to start life from scratch.
How and what to change.
Advice from psychologists that will help you change yourself and your environment.

Reasons to start life over with a new leaf

For all people, sooner or later there comes a period when you want to give up on everything and radically change your life. There is a desire to turn back time and correct mistakes. There can be many reasons for this, but everyone has their own. We tried to collect and highlight the most common ones. Namely:

Least favorite place to work. It's not often you meet a person who works at a job he loves. Often we choose a profession not according to the call of our hearts, but based on some circumstances (for example, we are satisfied with the salary or work schedule).
Relationships that have exhausted themselves. In order to find your soul mate, sometimes you have to build relationships with several partners. With some people get short-term alliances, with others longer ones. Often, each partner understands that this is not their soul mate, but no one wants to change anything in their life. Then the couple continues a relationship that has no future. In this case, both suffer.
Unsettled personal life. Dissatisfaction with the present may be due to the fact that a person does not have a life partner. Such people want to start a family and arrange their personal life. But for some reason this cannot be done. Many people decide to start a new life after a divorce, hoping for a bright future.
Bad habits. Very often our lives are ruined bad habits. For example, a person likes to drink. It seems like nothing, but when alcohol becomes the cause of uncontrollable behavior and unpredictable consequences, changes are vital for an addicted person.
Serious illnesses. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless against illness. When a person becomes seriously ill, he begins to approach life differently. All the troubles that happened before seem insignificant. A person can have a hard time bearing not only his own illness, but also the troubles of people close to him.
Problems with excess weight. People with extra pounds often dissatisfied with their body and the state of affairs. They understand that something needs to change, because their personal life, health, degree of self-esteem, etc. depend on it.

Where to start a new life

The hardest thing in any business is taking the first step. Many people who decide to start their lives from scratch experience chaos in their thoughts. They understand that something needs to change, but they don’t know where to start.

We have selected a few tips that will not let you get confused at the first stage of change.

Finish all previously started tasks. You shouldn't start a new life with unresolved issues. For example, your ex-boyfriend still calls, talks about his problems and wants to renew the relationship. If this communication is unpleasant and uncomfortable for you, take courage and express your opinion about the current situation. Let the person go and start a new life.
Get rid of unnecessary things and garbage. It is believed that if you have not used an item for a year, you will no longer need it. Clean up your surroundings.
Forget the past. The past will forever remain in the past. If you decide to change your job and take the first steps, don’t look back, don’t think that maybe you made a mistake. You start new period life, and the previous one has already passed.
Say goodbye to the present. Try to live for tomorrow. Make plans, think that a happier period of life awaits you ahead.
Determine for yourself a clear. For example, if you want to become a financially independent person, then you don’t need to immediately dream of a million-dollar fortune. Try to identify a realistic dream. After achieving it, you can always set a higher bar.
Motivate yourself. Depending on your goal, you need to think about what methods of motivation you will use. For example, you are dissatisfied with your appearance due to excess weight. In this case, you can hang photographs of models throughout your apartment; their bodies will encourage you to exercise and eat right.
Keep a positive attitude. People with an optimistic outlook on life begin a new life. Repeat to yourself several times a day the phrase “I am strong, I can do anything.” Over time, you will believe in your strength, and you will be able to overcome any problems.
Decide what exactly you want to change. Write it down, draw it, say it out loud.
Visualize your dream. Imagine how you wanted to live in 5-10 years. Many people with a clear vision of the future achieve their dreams in reality.
Believe in yourself and your strengths. If you do not have faith that you will realize your plans, then others will not believe it. It is impossible to achieve anything without believing in yourself.

How to change your life. Active phase

After you have mentally said goodbye to your past life and continue to look into the future with optimism, you need to move on to the active phase.

If you decide to change your job, start going to interviews and looking for suitable vacancies. If the reason for changes in life excess weight, then sign up for today Gym and start eating healthy.

In addition, use the following tips, which will help you quickly quit everything, leave and start your life again.

In order to change your life for the better, you need to act today. We have compiled a sample daily routine and necessary rituals that will help you feel like a new person.

Wake up earlier than usual . Setting your alarm clock just a few minutes earlier will still add something new to your life.
Go for a run or do some exercise . Exercise stress not only has a beneficial effect on the body, strengthens the spirit, but also improves mood.
Accept cold and hot shower . Thanks to it, you will improve your body, become well-invigorated and finally wake up.
Now you can take a few minutes to meditate . After charging, your body has finally woken up, but now you need to tune your mind in the right way. Meditation is perfect for this.
Have a good breakfast .

After all the procedures done, you will probably have great mood, which will need to be maintained throughout the day.

Go to work, and don’t forget to smile at everyone, even strangers. After a while, you will notice that the people around you also radiate joy.
In the process of work and rest, try to communicate with people - “lighters” who will ignite in you the enthusiasm to conquer new heights.
At the end of the day, take time for self-development. You can read books, watch educational programs, listen to an audiobook, study foreign languages, etc.

How changes occur at different periods of life

IN different periods People's life values are different.

A 20-year-old person tolerates changes more easily and is inclined to think less and act more.
30-year-old people are more thoughtful about trying to start a new life. It is at this age that a person strives to find himself. During this period, there is a desire to change specialty and place of residence.
Starting a new life at 40 is more difficult. People do not radically change their existing way of life so often, but during this period there is an active reassessment of values. For most parents, their children have grown up and do not require their care. Therefore, people at this age begin to pay more attention to themselves.
At 50 years old, women feel that they are still young, and their future depends only on themselves. They change themselves, make adjustments to their lives. It is often at this age that people find their soul mates and begin to live for their own pleasure.

No matter how old you are, if you decide to change your life and start over from scratch, we recommend:

Look to the future with optimism;
Don't be afraid of change;
Change yourself and your environment;
Find a new hobby;
Set a goal for yourself and develop an algorithm for achieving it;
Change your attitude towards life.

Advice from psychologists that will encourage you to take action

If you turn to a psychologist with the question, “How to start a new life and change yourself?”, most likely you will be asked to do some exercises. Now we will analyze them in detail.

Collage of wishes. Take a piece of paper (it’s better if it’s a Whatman paper of at least A3 size) and a few women's magazines. Make a list of your wishes. From magazines, cut out pictures that fit your desires and paste them on a poster. Place your poster in a visible place. You must see him constantly. As your wishes come true (and they will definitely begin to come true), cross them out. Thanks to the collage, you will not forget about your goals.
Saying goodbye to bad qualities . Think about what negative qualities you are endowed. It could be envy, laziness, fear of change, etc. Write them all down on a piece of paper and set it on fire. Now take the ashes and scatter them to the wind. At the same time, mentally imagine that you have gotten rid of these qualities, and they will never return to you.
We draw up a summary of the life we have lived. Often, when a person strives to start over from scratch, he becomes disappointed in the years he has lived and becomes depressed. It seems to him that part of his life has been lived in vain. But it is not always the case. Take a piece of paper and write down the joyful events of the past years, your achievements or successes. For example, you received higher education, achieved recognition and respect at work, became parents, traveled and saw the world, etc. There is no need to perceive the past as the worst part own life. It’s just a passed stage, after which a happy future opens up. Article

It is rare to meet a person who is completely satisfied with his life. “Something is wrong,” we think. We realize that we must improve and correct something. “That’s it, from Monday,” we finally firmly decide. But, more often than not, nothing changes with the onset of a new week.

But you are convinced that life needs to be changed. You feel bad and nothing makes you happy. And I really want to be happy! How? You think about it constantly, but the solution never comes. Let's try to deal with this problem together. My personal experience tells you what you should be able to do.

1. More optimism.

We all know that we should try not to think about bad things. But dark thoughts, like snakes, crawl into our brains. Drive them away! Drive diligently, persistently, patiently. Look in every seemingly unpleasant event positive side. Think that if it had not turned out this way, it could have been much worse. And you will understand that this failure is only apparent, and in reality everything is not so bad. And, most importantly, believe in the best and hope for positive changes. But that's not all. You must act yourself.

2. Forget about the concepts of “Laziness” and Fear.

Laziness is inherent in each of us. Instead of doing something - going, calling, meeting, etc., we think: “What if I don’t succeed and it only gets worse?” And we do nothing. But water does not flow under the lying stone. A football player may not hit the goal, but what is valuable is that he tried with all his heart to hit it, and sooner or later he will achieve his goal. Overcome laziness, make an effort, and your plans will certainly come true.

Laziness goes hand in hand with fear. What if, having conceived something new, we lose what we have? We will lose the delicate balance in life. Let's change our hard-to-establish life. And we will even lose what we have acquired through “backbreaking labor”!

Do you need this “acquired” if everyday life is gray, monotonous and boring? Do you need such a life if it does not bring you joy? Why this “stability” if you sometimes want to howl out of sadness? If you are afraid to change something in life, don’t change it. But remember that every day you will wake up with the heavy thought that the days are passing in vain.

3. Who, if not me?

Remember: if you don't do something yourself, no one will do it for you. The ancient “god ex machina” will not appear and save the heroes of the play. A person has the opportunity to choose in almost any situation in life. And you need to make this choice, and not let the situation take its course. It will probably be wrong, but that will be your personal choice. And you can be proud of yourself for showing willpower. But most likely of all possible solutions you will find the best for yourself.

It is not true that you can only choose between black and white. There are a lot of colors and shades in life, and with the beginning of a new life you will find the one that suits you best. You are a free person. You just need to have courage, determination and perseverance.

In fact, every day brings us a lot of options to choose from. Walk or wait for the bus? Buy chicken or sausages? Should I wait for a call or call myself? Should you quarrel with a friend over nonsense or give up? Every little thing in life requires your personal conscious decision. If you can handle such small things, what is stopping you from making a choice in a more serious situation? Nothing. I repeat - you are free. You are a person, you are an individual, endowed with the right and opportunity to choose.

If you don’t decide for yourself, then someone will definitely decide for you. But, in this case, it is also your choice. It was you who allowed your destiny to be decided without your participation. Then how are you different from a bull who is led to slaughter without asking his opinion?

Don't let anyone do this to you. Remember that you, and only you, can decide your destiny.

4. The assigned tasks must be completed!

For example, on Monday you decided to implement something. But then some additional things were added, you got busy, and then you became lazy. By Monday you didn't even want to think about it anymore. And you postponed the decision until better times. Will such times ever come? Such optionality, and first of all, in relation to oneself, can become a trait of nature. Strive for your goal, make efforts to achieve it, find opportunities to accomplish your assigned tasks!

Any habit needs to be developed. Have you ever acquired the habit of brushing your teeth in the morning or washing your hands before eating? It’s the same with the habit of bringing everything you start or plan to the end. At first you need to control yourself, think about it, but soon the “automatic” will turn on and everything will go by itself.

5. Don’t think: “what if...”

We often think: “Well, I’ll do this, but what will it threaten me with?” And we draw convex pictures in our imagination possible consequences one or another action. And often these pictures are gloomy. With the beginning of a new life, try to remove black paint from the palette of your imagination!

To do this you have to become a little crazy. Consciously set challenging goals for yourself. Sometimes being deaf to the voice of reason and rejecting logic.
Of course, measures are needed here too. You shouldn’t, say, decide to quit your boring job to start your own business, and burst into the office of your annoying boss, pour ink on his bald head and dance on the table. No. But you need to start your own business, regardless of obstacles, and not listen to boring “reasonable arguments” that you may not succeed. You decided - and you will do it.

At times you need to forget about your mind and listen to your heart. After all, we want to change our lives in order to become happy. And in this matter, the heart is the best adviser.

Listen to the words of the English rock musician, guitarist and vocalist of Radiohead Thom Yorke: “It’s very easy to be pathetic. Being happy is more difficult and cooler!”
Not a bad life motto, right?

» on Telegram. There I am, like a fanatic healthy image life, I share my observations, reflections, research and experience. Basically, this is my diary. It will be interesting. I promise. Join us. And now to the topic of the article.

Sometimes it seems that everything in life is going wrong, thoughts are scattered randomly in our heads, and doubts about the correctness of our actions torment us every day and give us no peace. Something needs to change. But what? How to start a new life so that your family is proud, others respect you, and your self-esteem, like a phoenix, is reborn from the ashes? To do this you need to work hard on yourself. In this article I will give you 30 practical advice in order to start living in a new way.

Life is wonderful, isn't it? Our inner voice constantly reminds us of this, which loves to give us hints. If you have a sudden desire to start a new life from scratch, do not drive it away. On the contrary, treat it as a sign that it’s time to raise the sail of your own frigate called “Life” and begin to move forward with new strength.

Many successful people(read about where they come from) we started by working on our own development. 1% talent and 99% hard work is the secret of true success. Don't be afraid of change. It is necessary to act decisively and irrevocably.

After all, start to change in better side- it’s so interesting and exciting... It’s a challenge positive emotions and motivation to conquer new heights. The tips I offer you in this article, I hope, will make you at least think about your priorities and habits.

And before I begin, I would like to advise you in a friendly way. Start learning English little by little. Just when a person begins to delve into foreign language, then he goes to new stage thinking, a second wind opens.

To do this simply register on the Lingualeo website. There's training English language It's much more fun and interesting than it used to be at school. I study there myself. Try it!

Spend time with “those” people.

You shouldn’t waste your life on those who squeeze every last drop of juice out of you. You will always be taken care of by the one to whom you are dear, the one who wants you to have a place in his life. And he will do everything to make you feel comfortable around him.

It's worth remembering that Good friends- these are the people who stay with you even if things are very, very bad for you, and not those who are eager to support you when everything is already great with you. Life is too short to waste your time on the “wrong” people.

Solve your problems, don't run from them.

Learn to take a blow of any force. Go face to face with the problem and give it a hard time, smash it to smithereens. Life does not tolerate the weak. So it teaches us by knocking us down until we adapt.

Of course, we will not be able to solve absolutely all problems, but everyone can try to do something. We may have to fall more than once, but we fall only in order to rise.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

It's better to try and make a mistake than to do nothing at all. Whoever tries to be smart about how you need to draw conclusions from someone else’s mistakes and learn from them, remember that we learn only from our mistakes, not from others.

Any failure can lead you to success, and any success is fraught with traces of past failures.

Don't try to imitate someone.

Being yourself is much cooler. This world forces everyone to dance to the same tune, trying to make sure that no one is any different from each other. That's why most people work hard to be like their idols, acquaintances, or anyone else.

Everyone has their own life. Yes, someone will always be more beautiful than you, someone younger, and someone smarter, but all of them will never be you. The one who values you will always love you for who you are. Therefore, you should not try to change yourself to please someone.

Let go of the past forever.

There is no need to cling to it and hold on to it. It is impossible to change what happened. You wondered how to start all over again, remember? So, you will never be able to start something new while you hold on to the old. A new chapter of a book begins only when the old one ends...

Be honest with yourself.

Starting a new life and improving it significantly is only possible when we take risks, and the first and most difficult thing for us is not to lie to ourselves.

Unlearn putting your personal needs into the background.

Remember, you and your life are exceptional. Uniqueness must be given a chance to develop. That's what's really scary - forgetting about your uniqueness and putting all your strength into loving someone else.

No, you shouldn't leave those you love. You just shouldn’t forget about yourself either. Learn to find time for yourself and... create, do what is really important to you, without stopping at anything.

Never reproach yourself for making mistakes.

Life, throwing us more and more new challenges, forces us to make mistakes. Some people scold themselves for falling in love with the wrong person, and others for doing something stupid... Look at it from a different, positive angle. It's worth starting to think differently.

If you hadn't made a mistake once, you wouldn't have met your spouse or gotten a job at your current job. Good work or you wouldn’t live where you live now...

There are many examples, but the essence is the same. You are you, here and right now, and not the mistakes you once made. You have a great chance to start building your future. So finally start demolishing bricks to the construction site!

Give up all attempts to buy yourself happiness.

This is impossible! Such simple things as love, joy, laughter, working on your own feelings are absolutely free...

Stop looking for someone to find happiness.

First, deal with the cockroaches in your head. You need to start creating stability in your life. You will not become happier in a relationship until you are happy with yourself and your personality.

Stop messing around.

It won't get you anywhere. Life doesn't like lazy people. Take action now. Your whole life is a movement, and I explained this clearly and clearly in one of my articles. and draw conclusions.

Do something that makes you feel good about yourself...

You must go into a new life with a willingness to work and plow. Don't hesitate in making decisions. Don’t think too long, otherwise out of the blue you’ll create another problem that might not have existed. Act decisively and take risks where you can.

Don't torment yourself with doubts that you are not ready for something.

I’ll tell you a little secret: no one feels 100% ready for anything. We stop feeling comfortable as soon as we see serious opportunities in front of us. We experience discomfort at the level of thinking. This is how man is made.

You don’t need to get sucked into a relationship right away, just like that.

I'm talking about love. Don't rush to choose a person. Think about it, weigh all the pros and cons, evaluate your sensations and feelings, and only then make your choice. Relationships are built wisely, not haphazardly.

Dive into the waters of love when you feel you are ready, and not at the first inner urge of loneliness. Depression can be fought. How? Read.

There’s no need to get all worked up and tell new relationships to hell when the old ones didn’t work out.

It’s just that you haven’t yet met someone who will love you because you are “exactly like that.”

Don't look at everyone as competition.

Life is designed in such a way that someone will always be more successful than you. You need to start developing new strategy, concentrating on your own achievements. Fight with yourself, not with someone else.

No need to be jealous.

Stop complaining about everything and feeling sorry for yourself.

Life rolls the dice for you. Thanks to these cubes, she guides you along one path or another. By constantly complaining about something, you can miss a lot of important things.

You need to understand and take in everything that is happening around you. And by constantly complaining, you will lose concentration and plunge into a world of eternal problems. Show people that you are doing well by smiling more often.

Drive away the hatred.

To be offended by someone and hate him all your life is only to your detriment. I even advise you to exclude the word “hate” from your vocabulary. It only attracts negative energy. Don't forgive the offense, just forget about it, and you will find peace.

Don't stoop to the level of others.

You always need to keep the bar and work to raise it.

Don't strain yourself in explanations.

A friend doesn’t need them, and an enemy simply won’t believe you. Don't waste time and energy on this.

Learn to stop and think in time.

No need to run in circles. Stop, think about “what’s what and how,” and decide what to do in this situation. Protect yourself from what is happening for a while and true thoughts will come to you.

Don't neglect simple little things.

Life is full pleasant little things- enjoy them. In the future, you will treat these memories as important points of your life.

Don't try to make everything perfect.

You may do better, but it won't be perfect. Then you will again want to improve what you have already improved, etc. You'll end up wasting a lot of time.

Don't go around obstacles.

Be extraordinary and choose the hard path instead of the easy one if your goal is to achieve success. Life does not give gifts to those who follow the path of least resistance.

Don't pretend everything is fine if it's not.

No one can be strong all the time. Cry if you need to. The sooner you do this, the sooner you will smile again. It’s always nice to give a “new” smile to people.

Don't blame others if you have problems.

You yourself are responsible for your life and actions. The dream will remain unfulfilled if you constantly lose control of your sense of responsibility.

Don't burn yourself out trying to be everything to everyone.

Make just one person happy and their world can change...

Don't worry unnecessarily.

Frequent excitement hits the nervous and cardiovascular system. Your worries won't change anything. Take care of yourself and your precious nerves. .

Learn to focus only on what you really want.

Throw all unnecessary thoughts aside and focus on positive thinking. It can move cities. Anyone who believes that every day can bring happiness, over time, notices that it does.

Don't be ungrateful.

Even if your affairs are bad, say “thank you” at least for the fact that you are alive and you have a roof over your head and bread for tomorrow.

Life is an interesting thing. She constantly tests us for strength and endurance. The weak become strong, the strong become weak, and the idle continue to discuss both. Appreciate the moments and develop spiritually, friends.

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Investor, programmer, writer, and serial entrepreneur James Altacher has fallen to the bottom and risen again several times. He had to change careers several times. Sometimes due to a change of interests. Sometimes due to the fact that all the bridges behind him were burned, and he was in dire need of money. And sometimes because all his colleagues were disgusted with him, and he was disgusted with them. There are other ways to start a new life, so Altacher urges listening with a grain of salt.

You can try it for yourself, or you can pass it by.

A) The update never stops

Every day you reinvent yourself. You are always on the move. And every day you decide what kind of movement it is - forward or backward.

B) You start from the beginning

You are starting a new life from the very beginning

Every title from the past that you will defend is just vanity. Were you a doctor? Graduated from an Ivy League university? Were you a millionaire? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't even try to prove that you are anything.

C) You need a mentor

Otherwise you will go to the bottom. Someone needs to teach you how to move and breathe. Don't worry too much about this point.

D) Here are three types of mentors

1. Direct. Someone who is next to you, who tells you how he achieved everything. What lies behind “everything”? More on this later. By the way, the mentor is not at all someone like the elderly Japanese man from the 1984 film “The Karate Kid”. Almost all mentors will hate you.

Character determines how a leader acts in difficult times. life situations, crisis will not necessarily shape character, but it will reveal and reveal it. A misfortune that befalls a leader is a turning point that forces a person to make a choice: either show character or compromise. Followers stop trusting leaders if they find out they have unstable personalities and never follow them again.

2. Indirect. These are books and films. You can get 90% of mentoring from books and other materials. 200-500 books are comparable to one good mentor. You ask: “What good book do you recommend?” There is no answer to this question. There are 200-500 good books, which would be good to read. Pay attention to inspiring books. Whatever your beliefs, read them every day.

3. Everything around you is a mentor. If you are a blank slate and you strive for renewal, then everything around you becomes a metaphor for action. You see a tree, but you don’t see its roots and the underground sources that feed it - all this is a metaphor for computer program, if you put the facts together correctly. In the future, you will find connections in everything you see.

E) Don't worry if you don't have a passion for everything

You are concerned about your health. Start with this. Small steps. You don't need a strong mental drive to succeed. Do your job with love, and success will follow.

F) It takes five years to update

Here is a transcript of these five years:
- Year one: you scatter your energy on many useless things, read voraciously and are just starting to take real action.
- Year two: you know with whom and why you need to communicate. Dedicate yourself to your work every day. Finally realize that your aspirations are like a Monopoly board.
- Year three: you are already good enough to start earning your first money. But life is still far from ideal.
- Year four: you are living a beautiful life
- Year five: you earn wealth.

It's easy to get discouraged in the first four years. “Why is nothing happening yet?” - such a question will torment you. This is fine. Just keep going. Or stop and choose new area. After all, you are already dead, and starting a new life is a difficult matter.

G) If you are doing it faster or slower, then you are doing something wrong

The history of Google illustrates this well.

H) It's not about the money. But money is a good measure

When people say “it's not about the money,” they should be sure they have another good measure. “What if you just do what you love?” you ask. Keep in mind that there are many days ahead in which you will hate what you do. If you do something just for the love of it, it will take much longer than five years. Happiness is only positive impulses in our brain. Sometimes you will be unhappy. The brain is just a tool we use, not who we are.

I) When can you say “I’m doing X” where X is your new career?

J) When can I start doing X?

Today. If you want to become an artist, buy a canvas and paints today, start purchasing the first of 500 books and pick up a brush. If you want to learn to write, then do three things:
- Read
- Write
- Take your favorite work by your favorite author and rewrite it word for word. Ask yourself why he chose those particular words. Today he is your mentor.

If you want to start your own business, start thinking about a business idea. The update starts today. And it continues every day.

K) How will I earn money?

Over three years, you will devote 5-7 thousand hours to the business. This is enough to become one of the 200-300 best in anything. The top 200 specialists in almost any field make a pretty decent living. By the third year you will know how to make money. By the fourth year you will already be earning enough. Some stop at the fourth year.

L) By the fifth year, you will be among the top 30-50 in your business and have amassed a fortune

M) How do you find out what exactly you need to do?

Everything that your soul will feel while reading 500 books. Go to a bookstore and find this. If you're bored after three months, go back to the bookstore.

How do you know what exactly you need to do?

It's normal to be disappointed. Success is better than failure, but the most important lessons we learn just after failures.

It is very important not to rush. You will find yourself again many times throughout your life. interesting life. And there will be many mistakes. Find the positives in it.

When you make drastic changes in your life several times, your chronicle turns into an interesting book of stories, not a boring textbook. Many people want their life story to be a verified textbook. For better or worse, Altacher's book is a book of stories.

N) Your choices today will become your biography tomorrow

Make interesting decisions and you will have an interesting biography.

N1) Your choices today will become your essence tomorrow

O) What should I do if I like some kind of absurdity? For example, biblical archeology or 11th century warfare?

Follow all the steps above and in the fifth year you will earn wealth. How? No idea. Don't try to find the end of the road on the first step.

P) What if my family wants me to work as a financier?

How many years of your life have you promised your family? Ten years? All life? And then wait next life. The good news is that it's up to you to choose.

Choose freedom or family. Freedom from prejudice. Freedom from authorities. Freedom from having to please people. Then you will please yourself.

Q) My mentor wants me to follow his path

Great. Study his path. And then do it your way. Sincerely. No one is putting a gun to your head, is it?

R) My spouse is worried about who will take care of the children.

Then do the update after a 16-hour working day as a janitor. He who rediscovers himself will always have free time. Collection small pieces time and rethinking them in the direction you need is part of your own renewal.

S) What if my friends think I'm crazy?

What other friends?

T) What if I want to be an astronaut?

This is not reinventing yourself, but just specific work. Do you like outer space? You have many career choices. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and launched Virgin Galactic.

U) What if I like to party and drink?

Read this post in a year.

V) What if I cheat on my wife/husband or betray my partner?

Re-read this post in two or three years, when you get divorced, lose your job and no one needs you.

W) What if I have no skills at all?

Re-read paragraph "B"

X) What if I have no education or a useless diploma?

Re-read paragraph "B"

Y) What if I have to pay off debts or a mortgage?

Re-read paragraph "R"

Z) Why do I always feel like an outsider?

Albert Einstein was the same. Each of us at some point feels like an impostor. Highest degree creativity comes from skepticism.

Just give up.

BB) What if I'm too sick to update?

Our training was called “Creative Team”, took only two working days and was focused on helping us turn routine into creativity. In fact, making every day filled with creativity is not at all as easy as it seems! And even the most interesting job, which involves news every day, sometimes turns into a set of habitual operations. It is at this stage that you need to reboot and try to approach familiar tasks in a new way.

Renewal stimulates the production of useful chemical substances in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. As you continue to move forward, you may not be completely cured, but you will become healthier. Don't use illness as an excuse. Finally, take care of your health. Sleep more, eat more. Play sports. These are the key steps to start a new life.

CC) What if my previous partner cheated on me and I'm still dating him?

Stop the litigation and never think about him again. Half the problem was you, not him.

DD) What if I go to jail?

Fabulous. Re-read paragraph "B". Read a lot of books in prison.

EE) What if I'm shy?

Turn your weaknesses into yours strengths. Introverts listen more attentively, focus better, and are better at attracting others.

FF) What if I can't wait five years?

If you plan to live another five years, it would be good to start today.

GG) What is the best way to meet people?

Imagine a concentric circle. You are in the center.

The next circle is friends and family.

Next is online communities.

The next one is meetings based on interests and invitations to coffee.

The next one is conferences and opinion leaders.

The next one is mentors.

The next one is clients and producers of goods.

Develop relationships through these circles.

HH) What if I think I'm the best at what I do?

In 6-12 months you will return to point “B”

ii) What if I am passionate about two areas? What should I do if I can’t decide?

Combine the two areas and you become the best in combination.

Start teaching on YouTube. Start with one student and see if the audience grows.

KK) What if I want to make money while I sleep?

In the fourth year, outsource your business.

LL) How can I connect with mentors and thought leaders?

Once you have enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 potential mentors. None of them will answer. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new potential mentors. Repeat this weekly. Make a mailing to those who don't respond. Keep going until someone answers. Start a blog about your efforts. Build a community around what you want to become an expert in.

MM) What if I can't come up with an idea?

Keep practicing coming up with ideas. The muscles responsible for ideas atrophy over time. You have to build those muscles.

It's difficult to reach your toes unless you exercise every day. To do this, you need to repeat the exercises regularly. Don't expect ideas to start coming on the first day.

After books, read websites, forums, magazines. But by and large there is only garbage there.

OO) What if I do everything you say and it still doesn't work?

It will work. Just wait. Continue to update daily.

Don't try to see the end of the road. The fog prevents you from seeing your destination. But you can see where the next step is, and you know that every step brings you closer to the end of the road.

PP) What should I do if I'm depressed?

Spend one hour in silence. This is required to reconnect with your inner self. If you think it sounds stupid, then don't do it. And continue to sink into depression.

QQ) What if I don't have time to sit in silence?

Then spend two hours a day in silence. This is not meditation. You just need to sit in silence.

RR) What if all this scares me?

Sleep eight to nine hours a day and never gossip. Sleep is the #1 key to health. But this is not the only key, but simply #1. Some people say: “I only need four hours of sleep” or “in my home country, sleep is equated with laziness.” Well, these people will face failure and early death.

When it comes to gossip, our brains biologically tend to be friends with 150 people. When you are alone with one of your friends, you start discussing the other 150. If you don't have 150 friends, your brain forces you to read gossip magazines to create the illusion that you have 150 of those friends.

Don't be as stupid as your brain.

SS) What if I keep feeling like none of this is working for me?

Take ten minutes a day to practice gratitude. Don't suppress fear. Pay attention to anger. And also remind yourself to be grateful for what you have. Anger is never uplifting, but gratitude is a good way to deal with it. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and the parallel universe where all creative ideas live.

TT) What if I constantly have to deal with people who don't believe in me?

Find yourself a new environment.

Find a new environment for yourself

Anyone who starts life with a clean slate encounters those who encourage them to deviate from the intended path. Biology tells your brain to protect you from danger, and renewal is risk. So get ready to say goodbye to people who are trying to stop you.

And learn to say no.

UU) What if I'm happy sitting in a closet at my current job?

VV) How can I trust you if you have failed so many times?

Don't trust.

WW) Will you be my mentor?

You have already read this post.

Svetlana Rumyantseva

Dull routine, monotonous everyday life - ordinary human life. Dreaming of breaking out of the cage gray days, people walk along vicious circle systems. Not enough strength. Past mistakes and unfinished business hang as ballast. Tired of your old life? Do you want to start over from scratch and feel like a new person? Then it's time to change.

Preparation

Psychological readiness for change is the basis for future changes. When the foundation is shaky, the construction of the house will not be successful. Whatever circumstances lead to the decision to start life over, do not rush from one extreme to another. The new is not the opposite of the old, but something modernized and improved. Imagine a car. How many times has it changed in human history? What if the designers again and again forgot the old developments and started from scratch? You would still be walking.

The past appears as both an anchor and a support for the present. If you refuse it, you lose support. Fear and indecision will not allow you to achieve results, and if you are left without support, you will panic before your endeavors.

Take your time and think about why it is important for you to change. Take two sheets of paper:

Present – describe your life today, dividing the list items into positive and negative.
Future - think about what you want to change in yourself, highlight the pros and cons, write it down.

After doing this exercise, you will understand what you need to take with you into the future. Elements of the familiar world will become your support. Starting life from scratch, people break the ties of the past, destroy traces of their former life, and break old foundations. But this cannot be done.

You won't get rid of the traces past life, but will only make the situation worse. Dismantling the wreckage is no easy task.

Starting point

Set a day and hour from which you will begin to change your life. Approach this task responsibly. There is a lot that needs to be accomplished before the chosen starting point:

Finish what you started

You must enter into a new life a free man. Bring to the end the protracted divorce procedure. Finish moving, renovation, annual report. Find out your relationship with ex-husband or wife. End everything that burdens you.

Find and eliminate sources of negativity

Everything that irritates, depresses, induces a feeling of melancholy and fatigue are destructive elements that destroy healthy psyche. By getting rid of them, you are cured of negativity. Minor reasons bad mood It’s not difficult to remove: say goodbye to them without hesitation. If you are bothered by negative sources that are difficult to eliminate, try to minimize their exposure.

Remove trash

Garbage is the cause of stagnation. It doesn’t matter which explanation you choose: psychological, esoteric or materialistic - unnecessary things and old feelings do not bring positive changes to life.

Material junk is things you don't use. They collect dust in closets, on the top shelves of cabinets, hide on the balcony and gather dust in secluded deposits. Throw it away without regret.
Spiritual garbage is old memories and experiences, disappointments that prevent you from moving on. Working on them takes time and effort. Having gotten rid of mental debris, you will feel unprecedented relief.

Life with a clean slate

If the artist took new leaf paper, this does not mean that he will immediately increase his level of skill. Time will pass, until awkward sketches turn into graceful drawing lines.

Leaving the past

Starting life from scratch, you must understand that the past is left behind. Don't be sad about it. What happened is gone, what has been done cannot be changed. You will bring experience and knowledge to your new life. Learn from past failures and let the rest go. Let go of old grievances; they tie you to people and events of the past, preventing you from getting out of the dead end. Don't blame yourself for missed opportunities, but look for new ones.

Don't rush into the future

Pay attention to the process. When you live in the future with your thoughts, you miss the present. Happiness and joy are mythical and illusory in imaginary pictures of future changes. Without satisfaction in the present, you risk losing your creative impulse and giving up on your goal before you achieve it.

Self-contemplation

Take time for self-discovery.

Assessing abilities and skills is important in order to choose the right ways solving the assigned problems.

Fight causes, not effects

Stop clinging to the tip of the iceberg. Look deeper. main reason failures are a struggle with consequences. For example, in order to succeed at work, you need to get a promotion that is not given to you. Why did this happen? There are several options: low qualifications, insufficient efforts or strong competition. Don't blame your boss for your failures, engage in self-improvement.

Planning

Making small plans in the evening will help you avoid wasting your day. Don't plan your day by hours and minutes. Set realistically achievable goals. At first, difficulties may arise: it is not easy to immediately take into account your capabilities. To appreciate the complexity of the work, you need to plunge into it. If you are working as hard as you can and are falling short, remember this and in the future rely on real possibilities, not on an ideal idea of them.

Positive attitude

By putting things off until later, you lose a lot of opportunities. Forgetting about regularity and phasing, people put things off and rush around, solving a bunch of problems on the last day. You don’t want to step on old mistakes and get buried in a pile of unsolved problems, do you? An avalanche of problems is a common reason for the desire to start life again.

Don't exhaust yourself. Subconsciously, a person avoids unpleasant moments. If you experience obvious discomfort in your new life, then the desire to stop will intensify with every step forward. A positive attitude will help you start life with a clean slate and smooth out the unevenness of change. Believe in yourself and your strengths, and the first results will not keep you waiting.

March 21, 2014