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Have you ever caught people lying? How often do you notice that people tell you lies?

Fortunately, there are certain ways to detect lies. Pay attention to how your interlocutor behaves. Psychologists and analysts have studied body language and gestures for years. Naturally, before claiming that someone is lying, you need to know how this person usually behaves. In any case, be careful and don’t judge anyone unnecessarily!

1. Frequently touching your face
According to Dr. Phil, people tend to touch their face, especially their nose, if they are lying.

2. Fake smile
Do you know the difference between a sincere and a fake smile? It is important to remember that when you are sincere, sparkles light up in a person’s eyes, which are reflected on the whole face. A fake smile, in turn, is simply a twitching of the corners of the mouth.

3. The person spreads his arms slightly
When someone lies, they often barely move their hands. Unlike a sincere gesture (which occurs in a sweeping manner with the whole body), a slight extension of the arms is a forced movement.

4. Shuffling
Remember: you are not at a dance, so the only reason that can justify shuffling is uncomfortable shoes. If everything is fine with the shoes, then when a person shuffles or shifts from foot to foot, this is an indicator that he wants to end the conversation as quickly as possible.

5. Sudden movements head
When you ask a person a question, and he suddenly jerks his head back, nods, or tilts his head to the side, it is likely that the reason for this is a lie.

6. Look straight into the eyes
Many people have heard that when a person lies, he avoids looking the other person in the eye. In contrast, liars can look directly into the eyes, precisely in order to convince that they are not lying.

7. Aggressiveness and turning attention to you
People who tell lies are often hostile and defensive. In this way they try to show their imaginary advantage.

8. Excessive sweating
Liars do break into sweat. And all because lying is stress, which increases body temperature.

9. Abundance of gestures in conversation
Very often, people who tell lies make a lot of gestures. They believe that in this way they can distract your attention and you will not notice that they are lying.

10. Ducky lips
According to Dr. Phil, liars subconsciously want to look amazing. This can be broadly expressed open eyes or folding your lips like a duck.

11. Stuttering and indecisiveness
Many liars begin to stutter or speak very uncertainly. This is because they want to tell you a good and compelling story. Of course, it's hard to think rationally when you want to be believed.

12. A lot of unnecessary information
A person who lies can go into great detail (often fictitious!). This may indicate that he has something to hide. After all The best way defense - attack.

13. Defensive position
Those who lie are more likely to defend themselves in a dispute, while those who tell the truth take an offensive position.

14. Using questions or repeating what was said
Another technique that those who tell lies use: they either repeat word for word what was said to them, or answer a question with a question.

15. Avoids saying “I”
Liars don't use "I" statements. For example, instead of saying, “I believe you are wrong,” they will respond, “You are wrong.”

16. Exaggeration
Many liars tend to exaggerate details of a story.

17. Fencing off
Sometimes a person telling a lie unconsciously places various objects in front of him - books, coffee cups, a laptop. This is how he tries to protect himself from you during a conversation.

18. Verbal cues
Sometimes in a conversation you can catch phrases that should alert you. For example: “To be completely frank,” “To be honest,” “To be honest.” Listen carefully to your interlocutor and do not be deceived.

And one last little tactical trick. If you have the feeling that they want to deceive you, quickly and suddenly change the topic of conversation. Human, truth teller, will be embarrassed by what is happening, while the liar will definitely breathe a sigh of relief.

Lies... A constant companion in our lives! And does anyone think about how lying affects the person lying? No, not on interpersonal relationships, where once (and with great happiness, if not forever!) this phenomenon appeared, not on something shared with another person, but on the liar himself. Today I would like to pay attention to exactly how a lie affects the person who directly generates it.

Since here we are focusing specifically on the destructive characteristics of lies, let us immediately note the following point. Namely: any lie is negative in nature , and any lie is destructive in nature. Unfortunately, people are accustomed to deceiving each other, but a shameless lie is not a normal phenomenon, but an immoral act.

Why do people lie

Why do people lie several times a day? Everyday lies are not gross deception, but the concealment of insignificant information, this is a lie “in small things.” Everyone wants to appear better and does not want to spoil relationships with others.

A person who is dishonest with himself and others is forced to live in constant tension from the need to hide the truth. The truth will sooner or later be revealed, and the revealed deception will entail a lot of negative consequences.

Scientists have versions of why people deliberately lie, even when they understand that deception will not lead to anything good: Why does a person lie?

• defensive reaction from shame and awkward situation;
• personal benefit;
• protection from punishment;
• desire to help another person;
• desire to maintain relationships.

If we understand by mechanism what prompts a person to lie, then everything is not so complicated: a person lies in situations where reality does not suit him. And then he seems to “correct” it. The reasons can be different: in one case a person is ashamed of something, he experiences fear, guilt and is overwhelmed with emotions, in another - the person lying, on the contrary, lacks the emotional “charge” of the situation, and he seeks to embellish it by resorting to lies.

Any of us can easily remember how, in distant childhood, we tried to hide from adults, for example, a fat D in our diary, or how we told our friends with genuine enthusiasm about the unprecedented facts of our biography. Meanwhile, children turn into adults, and the mechanism of lying remains the same - “there is a situation that does not suit me in some way, and by distorting it, I bring this situation into line with how good it would be for me.” In other words, this is a need, a desire to “adjust” the situation and circumstances to suit oneself.

Often in a lie you can see something similar to the instinct of self-preservation - a person is driven by fear, and he seems to defend himself with a lie, trying to protect himself - at least from a negative assessment of the person he is lying to, from negative feelings, in connection with which he cannot reveal the truth (usually this is the triad of fear-shame-guilt). It seems to him that it is a lie safer than the truth, but is it?

Is the ability to lie an innate or acquired quality?

Really interest Ask because it's controversial. Today there are studies that suggest that lying and deceitfulness are an innate quality. More precisely, from birth a person may have a greater or lesser predisposition to lie.

At the same time, no one doubts that lying as a habit - if you resort to it constantly (especially with a positive outcome for the liar) becomes more and more entrenched in a person’s behavior. And this, undoubtedly, indicates the ability to lie as a quality that is formed throughout life. I think the most accurate answer would be this: the ability to lie is innate, but the “degree of mastery” is acquired during one’s lifetime. Moreover, human behavior is not just innate instincts; Every time a person faces a choice - to lie or not to lie, and depending on moral principles(which, by the way, are clearly acquired and not innate!) this choice is made.

What mechanisms does a lie trigger in a person’s head? Are they always harmless?

If speak about physiological mechanisms, then, as was said above, a powerful jump in electromagnetic impulses occurs in the brain, and processes corresponding to stress are launched. It would seem like a harmless lie - be it embellishment for your own pleasure, or, on the contrary, hiding/distorting something, but in the end... headaches! This is precisely the conclusion reached by American scientists from the University of Notre Dame in Indiana: as a result of the experiment, it was revealed that people who lie are four times (!) more likely to complain of headaches and three times more likely to have psychological discomfort.

A person who lies is anxious, but often the nature of this anxiety is completely incomprehensible to him and is not realized by him. He shows increased irritability, constantly experiencing discomfort. But why does a person not notice the nature of his uncomfortable anxious state?

It's all about overlaying multiple sources

Firstly, since a person resorted to lying, it means that the situation itself (which he hides or distorts) does not suit him in some way - this is the first thing about which he feels dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction. For some reason, he cannot afford to present something as it is - perhaps this “something” causes him a feeling of shame and guilt. This alone is more than enough to stop feeling relaxed and “smooth.”

Secondly, the liar is worried that he will be caught in a lie, that the truth will “come out” to the surface. When thinking about this, the feelings caused by the real situation (shame, guilt) intensify.

Thirdly, if the person lying is ashamed of his lies, additional corresponding moral experiences are layered and the person suffers over the very fact of lying. As a result, the person is in, let’s say, “mixed” anxiety. As it generalizes, it ceases to be tied to something specific, and the person is left with a feeling of anxiety, but he is not aware of what exactly it is connected with? As a result, the following chain operates in his head: he disguised an undesirable situation with a lie, which means that it seems to not exist; since there is no “sort of” situation, then there should be no feelings associated with it (guilt, shame).

Thus, generalized anxiety becomes cut off from its sources, but, naturally, without disappearing, continues to exist.

Why is lying dangerous? No joke!

Already from the above we can conclude that lying harms the physical and psychological health. And we haven’t yet mentioned that lies leave an imprint on cognitive processes person - memory, attention, thinking (I touched on this in more detail here) It is much more difficult for a liar to be collected, focused on some task, since he is constantly under tension due to the fact that he always needs to ensure that all subsequent information emanating from him - converged with the information that he had already passed off as valid. It is clear that this is very energy-consuming for the brain, because a lie concerns a situation that has already been passed, and a person is faced with more and more new tasks that require paying attention to himself as the day goes on (what can we say about a longer period).

Thus, lying is harmful to health, reduces cognitive functions, causes psychological discomfort, and threatens the collapse of interpersonal relationships for the liar. But most of all, lying is still dangerous because a person gets used to it very quickly. Yes, he experiences enormous stress while the lie floats on the surface, but the incredible relief with which he exhales “fuuuuh, it’s gone!” (if it happened, of course) - it’s still very captivating to lie again. To disguise the inconsistencies caused by lies, a person lies again and again, entangling himself in an immense tangle of untruths. So lying becomes a habitual act for the liar.

As A.P. said Chekhov: “Lies are the same as alcoholism. Liars lie even when they die.”

If people lie all the time, how does this affect their psyche?

If a person lies constantly, then it is appropriate to talk about him here as “pathological lies.” But it should immediately be noted that this is only an everyday concept, in clinical diagnostics there is no such term. Indeed, there are no “norms of lies”, formal boundaries, scales by which it would be possible to quantitatively measure the untruths produced by a person. Therefore, despite the obvious fact that some people resort to lies in emergency, some lie more often, and some just lie all the time, we cannot say about a person who constantly lies that he is mentally ill. Typically, pathological deceit is viewed as something that complements clinical picture, and not as an independent deviation.

But does “24-hour lies” have any effect on the psyche? Of course it does!

Speaking in simple language, the psyche is what allows us to reflect the world, build your picture of this world and, based on it, regulate your behavior. So, it turns out that in a person who lies, all the functions of the psyche - reflection, perception, regulation, one might say, to some extent lose their independence and spontaneity. Now all information coming from the outside world, everything perceived has to be correlated, first of all, with the “false yesterday and the day before yesterday.” That is, a liar must, as it were, bring everything new into conformity with what is already distorted - this is how his picture of the world is built. extreme point, when a person is so entangled in a lie, he has endowed it with such a degree of persuasiveness that he already believes in his own words. In addition, characteristics such as decreased self-criticism and impulsivity correspond to a pathological liar.

Who lies most often?

Statistics say that men lie more often than women, and also that than socially more active person, the more he lies. But such studies do not stand up to criticism very well, since such conclusions are too unambiguous and averaged.

For example, in some areas, women, on the contrary, are much more successful than men in lying (the most vivid example is about the cost of purchases); women are more prone to embellishment, while men are more prone to hiding information.

Therefore, without referring to statistics, I would say this: most often the one who lies is the one who is not satisfied with reality. Tough, but that's how it is.

By resorting to lies, a person tries to “redefine the situation,” change circumstances, and be different in someone else’s (probably including his own) eyes. A person is trying to “reshape” reality, because the situation, circumstances, some moments of life - for some reason do not suit him, he cannot afford the truth.

7 Phrases People Use When They Blatantly Lie

In fact, it is not very easy to understand that they are lying to you. There are people who do this too openly, and it will not be difficult for you to understand that there is no truth in their words.

However, there are also real masters of deception who are quite difficult to figure out.

So how can you spot those very masters of lies? The best thing to do is analyze what they say and compare it to what they do.

Pay close attention to the words or phrases they use to dismiss any doubts about their lies.

Here you will find 7 common phrases that liars use so that no one can detect the lies in their words.

How to understand that a person is lying

1. “This cannot be proven.”

Such a phrase may imply that the liar made a mistake, but since there is no evidence of his words, he does not admit to lying.

2. “In principle, that’s all.”

When someone is deliberately hiding any information, he will be careful in his words. If you hear someone using this phrase, know that they may be lying or hiding something from you.

3. “I don’t remember that.”

Memory lapses are very common among pathological liars. You've probably heard that for such a person it is extremely difficult to follow the chain of what was said so that the lie was reliable.

If you manage to catch such a person in a lie, he will simply begin to complain that he simply does not remember that he said or did something. This helps them to deceive. Quite convenient, isn't it?

4. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

This is a direct denial. If liars deny something, they try to do it to the maximum. You know that they understand perfectly well what you are talking about, but they will not renounce their own lies. It is extremely difficult to convince such people to accept the fact that they are lying.

5. “Are you accusing me of something?”

What an innocent expression appears on the face of liars who say this short phrase! Their mocking smile is simply unbearable. They use this phrase to make you look like a fool who is suspicious of them. It's theirs defense mechanism, which helps you switch from the purpose of the conversation. Don't fall for it!

6. “Why do I need this?”

Instead of answering your questions or comments, they start answering your question with a question. This is how they try to get out of the situation so that they don’t have to answer your leading questions. If they start asking you questions like this, they are definitely lying. They will try to avoid as much as possible the opportunity to penetrate into the depth of the issue.

7. “Youyou thinkIoncapable of this(on)?”

Again, the whole burden of the argument shifts to you after such a question. The liar is trying to turn himself into a victim, and this time he is using this phrase to make you feel guilty about something you didn't even do. In some cases it works, no matter how much we hate to admit it.

Liars will go to great lengths to hide their lies. They never admit their mistakes. Trying to force them to do this is almost always futile. If someone says these phrases to you, you need to know how to react.

For example, if someone says they don't remember doing or saying something (point 3), you can ask them what it is they remember. An honest person will answer you without hesitation, while a liar will hesitate, thereby preparing a new fictitious story.

We can all lie sometimes at one time or another in our lives. I believe this is true. I know I can lie when the need arises to protect those I love or when I feel I am in danger.

But there are people who lie as easily as they breathe. In fact, if they couldn't lie, I think they would be torn apart.

Liars sometimes believe their own lies. Lies become a part of their life and are mixed with the true facts they say. It's amazing to watch a liar at work, and if you know such a person, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Types of Liars in Your Life

Now let's talk about people who lie like no other. People who lie as easily as they breathe are usually a certain type. They often suffer from mental or personality disorders.

But there are also those who hide their illnesses and do it very well. It may take years to understand the extent of their inappropriate behavior and the number of lies they tell. These are the people who are more likely to lead double lives.

Psychopaths

Psychopathy - psychopathological syndrome, manifested as callousness towards others, a reduced ability to empathize, an inability to sincerely repent of harming others, deceit, self-centeredness and superficial emotional reactions.

Do you know anyone who has psychosis? You may not know this for sure. A psychopath is not necessarily a cruel person. He can be cute and lively in appearance normal life. If you don't communicate closely with him, you may not even suspect that there is something wrong with his head, but it's just the opposite.

Psychopaths are some of the biggest liars because everything they do is based on deception.

They lack empathy and work on their charm to get everything they want at the expense of your safety or feelings. Lying is second nature to a psychopath who would rather lie to gain gain than tell the truth to help others.

Extroverts

For an extrovert, it is important that people around him pay attention to him and perceive him in the way he needs. He's in much better to a greater extent dependent on the opinions of others. Think about it: When you hang out with extroverts, you run the risk of hearing more lies.

Some extroverts, when in their usual environment, will begin to lie as easily as they breathe, and after a while they will even begin to believe the lies they tell. It's all about status and pressure from others. All this can turn people into real monsters who just want to have more friends. It's a sad truth, but a truth nonetheless.

Narcissistic people

It's no surprise that narcissistic people are more likely to lie. If we look at their personality traits, we see a desire for attention, lies, a lack of empathy and an eternal search for the culprit - the character of a narcissistic person is created in order to preserve a certain individuality. The reason a narcissist uses this weapon is because of emptiness within.

The narcissist's true personality is buried so deep inside that he creates a false life around himself that he desperately wants to turn into truth.

They compete for attention to maintain this false individuality, lying and withholding empathy for others. When others begin to see through this façade, the narcissist becomes angry and begins to lie even more. Unfortunately, most of narcissists never change, and they remain liars forever.

Sociopaths

This is a man with real psychological problem who does not know how to live properly in society. He does not comply with laws and decency, does not worry about the opinions of others, easily oversteps other people's interests, causing harm and pain. An inquisitive, sophisticated mind suggests a sociopath a lot of tricks and tricks for successfully manipulating people. He does not engage in “soul-searching”, analyze his actions, and does not experience pangs of conscience. He is confident that he is right and does not see anything wrong in his behavior.

A sociopath is not a closed person who hides from people. All his actions are aimed only at personal gain. Whether he is capable of sincere deep feelings (love, friendly affection) is a controversial issue. A sociopath does not need close connections; he keeps people close to him only as long as they can be beneficial to him in some way.

A sociopath's lies are easier to spot, but that makes them even more cunning. If you make them angry, you will be deceived. They live and breathe lies for as long as they can maintain a calm demeanor. Otherwise, their pathological lies will lose meaning, and this will benefit others.

Pathological liars

Sometimes you don't have to be psychotic or in love to live a life of endless lies. Pathological liars seem as normal as everyone else until you catch them lying. But no matter how hard you try, a pathological liar will not admit to lying, and if you think he is single case, think again.

Pathological liars deny lying until their last breath, and with the same zeal they lie to everyone and about everything.

Even when there is no reason to lie, they do it for fun. They really enjoy it and find it incredibly difficult to tell the truth.

The youth

Did you know that young people tend to lie in incredible quantities? If you think about it, you will understand the meaning. For the most part, students tend to lie easily—and to lie about things that don't even matter.

Statistics show that the older you get, the less likely you are to lie, which also supports this theory.

So who are they lying to? Young people may lie to their friends, but more lies are told to their families and loved ones. They usually use lies to get what they want in times of great need, or to stay out of an issue that makes sense. The older you get, the more independence you have and the less need to lie.

Sellers

This is easy for most of us to understand, but let me put it into perspective for you. I worked in sales for many years, selling beauty products, health care products, and other products. I was taught to lie all the time to sell products. My bosses made me say things like “The product is the best”, “Its effects are proven” and so on. I was also made to lie that I used this product and absolutely loved it, which in most cases was very far from the truth.

As a salesperson, I lied every day. I lied about why the prices were so high and why the shipping was so expensive. I lied and lied and lied until I began to believe everything that came out of my mouth. I ended up quitting that job because I just couldn't lie anymore. Salespeople do lie, sometimes almost like psychopaths, and sometimes they themselves become disordered.

Do you know people who lie?

Well, of course you know. I bet that if you are not that prone to lying, you see a liar every day. You might see them at the gym, at the market or even in your office.

Everyone lies, but people who lie as easily as they breathe are dangerous, and you should definitely be aware of their presence. Because if they can lie so easily, then your feelings and well-being will not be a concern for them.

Don't let these liars go, but remain an honest and loyal person. You will be proud that you did it.

A lie is just a “distortion of actual information”, in fact, a lie distorts the usual ways of behavior of a liar, his normal emotional condition, his way of thinking. This is distortion, destruction of the liar himself.

A lie lowers a person: he cannot allow himself to be present, to be in the present without distorting it - he is below it(no irony: cannot be in the present - cannot reach the present - below).

But if you at least try to honestly answer your question - “Why am I lying?”(of course, thinking about specific situation), - then it happens that the desire to lie suddenly disappears. Because it is at this moment that we turn inward and begin to see what we had previously assiduously ignored... or simply gently ignored.

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